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6/29/2014

A Word From Our Sponsor

 Hello. I have something you want. For an extremely low price I can offer you something which is absolutely remarkable. The majority of us have them but nobody can ever have enough of them. We are surrounded by them but we don't really notice them. I know that you dear reader are smart enough to see what so many others simply do not. Their is one thing which everyone who walks this Earth needs to truly be happy. That my friend is a box of human toes.                                                                    
 
  I know you're probably thinking to yourself you already have toes. Well let me ask you one simple question. Are you in possession of a box of human toes? If I imagine correctly the answer is no. Don't go getting upset. Now is your chance to change all that.  For a mere three hundred dollars plus tax I will send you a box of up to sixty freshly severed human toes.                                                                

  My competitors claim to understand the common American worker but honestly they are so detached (see what I just did?) from what their customers want and need. If you're anything like me you want what you spend your hard earned money on to come from America. My competitors fill their boxes with foreign toes and expect you to pay ridiculously high prices. I'm not like that. My philosophy is about providing good people with a quality product for a reasonable price. If you want a good deal on  something every self respecting person should have please email me at gorgons11@gmail.com. Thank you for your time. I strongly encourage you to avoid sudden death. Bye.
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