Why Can't -? A Vlogbrothers Style Google Thing

Google options for "why can't-" are as follows

why can't you tickle yourself? 
Answer: Because I stole your hands.

why can't i own a Canadian ?
Answer: The stores are under stocked. 

why can't we be friends

Answer: Because of a long-standing feud.

why can't i get over him?

Answer: He took your vital organs.

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