Why Can't -? A Vlogbrothers Style Google Thing

Google options for "why can't-" are as follows

why can't you tickle yourself? 
Answer: Because I stole your hands.

why can't i own a Canadian ?
Answer: The stores are under stocked. 

why can't we be friends

Answer: Because of a long-standing feud.

why can't i get over him?

Answer: He took your vital organs.


Neil Gaiman Jokes

This is a variant of the ever so popular Chuck Norris jokes.

1 Neil Gaiman's hair forces the walls of the universe outward.

2 Neil Gaiman's first book was about Duran Duran. The rock band formed a year after the book's publication.

1 Neil Gaiman's 1990's Sandman comics inspired a 1940's version.